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Monday, June 28, 2010

odd math.

sometimes i lose focus.  i thought i was over that, but alas, i have been shown that i am far from over it.  thank you, Lord, for showing me how pitiful my whining is.

i am the luckiest mom in the world.  i have three smart, witty, funny, and FUN children around {there is a difference between FUN and FUNNY, believe me.}

i am not perfect.

sometimes i forget how lucky i am.  oftentimes it is proven to me in a hard-knock lesson.  

today was a hard knock-lesson.

i was assertive at work today, as many of you know that i can be.  i am usually assertive at work but i don't usually deal with a certain set of specific individuals.  these individuals have no appreciation for assertive women.  {ok, so it's not their thing.  i get that.}  i don't push myself into their conversations.  i don't outwardly scoff at their ideas.  i don't get in their bid'ness.  but they like to get in mine.

one of these guys is the same guy that asked me how my father-in-law was doing.  he caveated it by saying, "i mean, i don't really care but it's my job to ask."  

{thank goodness you didn't reproduce}

so why would i want to divulge my personally horrible news to someone that just told me he doesn't even care about it?  why would someone even open their mouth?

because he was being assertive.  because we were both waiting on print jobs and he felt the need to drum up pointless conversation because he is assertive and uncomfortable with silence.  and an ass.

today that same individual treated me like his personal secretary.  love it.  i mean, nothing says "demeaning" like "write this for me and email it to me so i can sign it."   you have got to be kidding me.  i was assertive.   and papa didn't like it.

i stand by my decision.  but apparently there are several parties now involved to determine if i was in the wrong or if i was correct.  i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little bit stressed out by this.  you never know with these people.  it's very political and left for much interpretation, {should you be the type that is convinced that lemons can make both lemonade AND apple juice}.

apples = applejuice
lemons = lemonade....  
and applejuice?


i came home to three adorably sweet peas today.

they cried for me.

they saw their mom a wreck and wanted to take that pain away.

THIS is what defines me.
THIS is what matters in my life.
THIS is the reminder i needed about my frustration level at home.

family is important.
they are your biggest cheerleaders.
they are your biggest support system.
they love you unconditionally.
they make life worth living.

as tough as today was, it was the kick in the ass i needed to realize i have no right to whine as much as i do about the constant whining at home.   because let me just tell you... the whining from my coworkers is far worse.

Friday, June 25, 2010

at peas.

i have these moments.
they are the times i remember how blessed i am.
they come and go in an uncontrollable manner.
it's fantastic.

music moves me.  seriously.  i get up and dance with a kid on my hip constantly.
they can keep a beat.
i am blessed for that.

music moves me on the inside, too.
it helps clear my mind, and often times, leads me to the realization that i am lucky in life.

so on this great saturday eve, i will take my kids out for dinner with a clear mind, a laid back attitude, and an openness for unexpected fun.

i need to remember how blessed i truly am.
my peas are mostly what defines me.  not my j-o-b.
that thought helps lead me to inner peas.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

the beat goes on.

check this party out... 

... be still my beating heart.

fo' real.

Elizabeth Anne Designs is way awesome in my book.
this party was so serene and composed, to say the least.

here's a taste of it...

i fell in love again today.


i was going through my cell phone pictures last night.  two things were obvious to me after looking through the hundreds of photos on there:

1.  Sophie likes being the center of attention the most.
2.  Emma likes being the center of attention the least.

in blogging, even when you post a bajillion pictures, nine times out of ten, those pictures are intentionally "perfect." 

i found some that are opposite of perfect that i thought i would share (because i'm human and admit to the fact that i'm not perfect all the time, thus, sharing imperfect photos are also important to me).

"Please don't send this to Uncle Shinnyyyyyy!"

this is ethan showing me how he can carry his sister.  "Mom, take a picture of me carrying emma."
what i ended up taking a picture of was him carrying emma and then falling over into me.
perfect.  UNperfect.

wow.  who hasn't seen this before?
i don't even know how this happened.

these two boys are cousins - but more like brothers.
we were on our way to a football game.
they were silly and i think i managed to capture that well.

this is sophie freaking out on me.
the sound feed was just as you can imagine.

but for every one of these above, i had five of these...

sophie doing her cheerleader pose at the football game.

the girls playing chick-fil-a drive-thru.

toy story 3.

completely snackified.

didn't want me to hold his hand.
not once.
"Mom, we're in public.  I don't cuddle in public.  Sorry, I'm a man now."

my biggins'.
they scared the ducks at the same time they were making my heart melt.

the flops are still worth keeping.
i mean, i'm pretty sure that's why i took them with my phone in the first place.

kids are awesome.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


saw this today and just about died.

i love it.

i need a reason to throw a pink party.

any ideas?

thanks to Save the Date for Cupcakes for sharing and Super Organizer Mum for hosting!

Monday, June 21, 2010

oh no, no, noooooo

i never said i was perfect.
like... in a million years ever.

i vent.
i'm human.
i am far from perfect.

i do a lot of hard work on the inside before i decide to post things.  
but it doesn't mean that my posts are politically correct, morally correct, or anything of the sort.

they are a reflection of me, however.

i write this blog to express what i feel on paper -- as a memory jogger -- as a physical reminder of what i have to do (keep doing) every day to be a healthy mom to my kids... and slowly to be a healthy wife to my husband.  that's something that has gone to the wayside lately.  not by choice, however.

i am lucky to come home to three small peas and a husband (occasionally, a husband) each and every day.  with the crazy schedule that leads our lives, we see very little of each other.  that little leads to a whole lotta stress.

but that's normal.  i miss his face.  {best. dimples. ever.}

i posted an entry a couple of weeks ago and showed a little passive aggression on here.  i wish i were perfect.  i mean, i'm sure if he were to ever actually read my blog he might be upset by my seething tone.  but he doesn't, which is why my blog is somewhat of a safe haven for me.

so don't judge me.

i'm not perfect.  oh no, no, nooooooo... i never said i was.  as long as i work towards it, isn't that just as good? 

Thursday, June 17, 2010

lil' adventure?

back in march one of my sisters sent me a link to an article on cnn's website.

it originated at and really made me give myself a pat on the back.  if there is one thing i have figured out over the last 7 1/2 years of parenting it's that mommy guilt is always there. while it's a torture-some quality, it also means you've got a conscious.  from what i can tell from working in the same building as social services, we could do with more parents having mommy guilt.

i totally just judged.
i want to be the best mom.  sometimes i have to remember that life isn't perfect and, though sometimes i think i'm superwoman and can do it all, i'm just some half-asian-full-time-academic-registrar-mom-of-three-busy-kids.  i'm not superwoman.  while i want to give them the world on a platter, my reality is not such that is possible.  so instead, i need to focus  on being the best mom that i possibly can be.

there is a difference between the two called "mommy guilt."
it is also sometimes referred to as "denial."

if you deal with mommy guilt on a daily basis like the rest of us, i strongly suggest you read the article.  you're not alone.  never forget that your identity is based on a myriad of different aspects of your life.  while i love to say motherhood is all i live for, it's mommy guilt that has me say that first.  isn't that what i'm supposed to say?

i'm a mother first.  a wife second.  and a whole LOTTA fun third.  

somehow i do a lot of the first, very little of the second, and nil of the last.  isn't that contradictory?  how can i focus on being such a great mom if i'm not acting like a great wife and not really having a lot of fun as a woman?

anypoo, if you want to feel less mommy guilt and more "it's ok for 'me' time"... read the article.  if i didn't think the blog police would fine me, i'd cut and paste the entire thing into here for you.  

i think it's going to be my nightly reading material.  just to reemphasize things every single day.  kind of like waking up, standing in the mirror and saying, "HEY good lookin'!  You are smart, beautiful, and damnit people like you."

i have fun.
mostly fun being a mom.
mostly fun being an aunt.
and that's great .... but ... i'm missing something.

are you?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


thanks to modwalls i have decided to take on a home project.
over the last few months my poor house has been neglected.
i've decided to un-neglect it... and then some.

i have always wanted to create a tile backsplash in my kitchen so i took the leap and purchased my tile.

i'll take before and after pics...
but i'll only post them if it turns out well.
i'm selfish like that.

my style is more flavorful than most.  i love color {don't believe me?  just check out my etsy favorites}.  but while we're not talking ROY G BIV here, the color is also nothing close to taupe.

wish me luck!  i'm a bit sceered about something so big.  but it's nothing compared to karen over at theartofdoingstuff.

she is my personal hero.
she went from this...

to this...

by HERself.
pretty freaking fantastic.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

so lucky.

there are many reasons why i love my life.  but i have to say, these faces top it off!  you can't beat family... especially when they're awesome.
birthday girl.

i could comment all day and night about these faces.
to keep it short i'll sum it up in three words.
me. so. lucky.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


first off, my last post only contained pictures b/c the dang blog wouldn't let me add extra spaces for words.  usually i'd scrap it and start over, but i'm low on time. {busy weekend ahead of us!}

to keep it short, we started swim lessons and it is MUCH better than last year.

last year we had a newly-turned-three-year-old that told the swim coach "NO" each time she had to do something.  so we switched her to the daddy-and-me class, only she also told Chris "NO".

it was mortifying.

what a difference a year makes!  she's the first to volunteer and never wants to leave.  

much. mo. better.


this was our last week of school before summer break.  one was looking forward to leaving, the other had heartburn over not seeing his teacher for the rest of the summer.  and it surprised me that it wasn't the other way around.  emma was done.  she was completely over going to school.  ethan cried most every day last week.  *oye*

so the night before the last day of school my 6 year old woke me with a tummy ache followed by a couple nice rounds of vomiting all over my bathroom.  it was glorious.  i wasn't at all perturbed that her father "slept" through it all.  i mean, he was up late watching the Lakers game that night, and who could blame him for being so exhausted?  poor tired basketball-watching-stay-at-home-dad.  i, on the other hand, only had to wake up at 5am to get to work early so that i could make up all the hours i had to come home and relieve him this week due to a mismanaged schedule on his part.  i TOTALLY should've been the one to clean up puke all night.  DUH!

passive aggressiveness aside, she didn't go in for her last day of school.  instead, she moped about the house because we weren't letting her play with her sister, even though her tummy still hurt.

but at least she made it to her picnic on wednesday...

 so here we go.  crazy summer.
crazy schedule.
can't wait for school to start back up in august!

{p.s. i had to include this shot of my man to remind me that even though i am totally passive aggressive, i also totally dig him.}

swim lessons. better this time.

Monday, June 7, 2010

balls.... er, puffs.

it was a DOOOOOOOZY of a hot day.

it was hotter 'an balls... er, puffs, that day.

i was soaked through my shirt before the party ever began.  and it was totally worth my bra showing through my shirt for the entire party because the party turned out so beautifully!
{at least in my humble opinion}


here is my sister... Andrea.  Dre.  Auntie Dre.  Mama Dre.

her middle child was turning 3.  her oldest just turned 4.  her youngest is about to turn 2.
i'm shocked she doesn't have a full-head of gray hair.  or even just one strand.


these puffs were my birthday project.
they distracted me from needing any birthday cake.

my goal was to make it like a dance floor.
or starry night.
or whatever.
that tree was perfect for this very occasion.


below are the wands my mom put together for all the little girls as their take-aways.

we got our inspiration from here.
if you've never checked out Kim's work,
you're doing yourself an injustice.

she has amazing creativity and vision.


the puffs looked so fantastic in these trees.
and little Princess Kaia thought so too...


check this jank out...
my sister created this castle cake for her very special princess.
talk about a show stopper.
{including my butterfly banners in the back}


here is mama dre with her bambina.
i cropped out the unladylikeness of this.
princesses aren't unladylike.
at least, not that you know of...


she was so happy to see a new babydoll.
it was so unfortunate that the heat made the glue on the doll's wig become UNSTICKY.
she was quickly a very bald baby.


when it's your birthday, you get to eat cake and ice cream however you want.  as much as you'd like.

no judgment passed...


this is my "boo" offering me a spot of tea.
she is such a girly girl.
the world would be much better with more girly girls.
{so long as there's not so much sass.}

i love her.