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Thursday, October 30, 2008

transitions are great, right?

Oh the pain! It had to happen at some point. They all grow up and leave the crib at some point. I just thought I wouldn’t be affected by this life changing moment. It was hard. It represented something big. For me, just as much as for Sophie.

Sophie. 3 1/2 months old

Sophie. 27 1/2 months old

She didn’t know it was going to happen. I was home all day yesterday so Chris and I decided to go ahead and make the change. At this point it’s just a mattress on the floor. A mattress with her birdie sheets. Her Littlest Pet Shop blanket Her blue blankie. Her purple blankie. Her mini Elmo. Everything she needed.

Boy, did she love it. Her jaw hit the floor when she saw it. She just couldn’t believe her big brown eyes. She sat on it almost all night. She just laid back on the pillows. PILLOWS. Cribs don’t have pillows. She has PILLOWS! She must be a big girl now. It was like she was soaking in all of this responsibility now because she popped up at one point and said, “No binky now!” {Yes. Don’t judge me. My 2 ½ year old still uses a binky for naps and ni-night. We all do things to survive, and for me, binky = sleep. } She was so proud of herself. And for me, well, it was a lil bit tough. She played on that bed all night long. She read books to herself. Talked on her phone telling everyone she had a big girl bed. And joyously swam in her pillows.

At bedtime she immediately recognized she would not be getting a binky. And she was fine with that! She never uses a binky at daycare. She hasn’t for the last year and a half. But I digress…

I expected her to realize her new freedom. She was no longer a caged little monkey. She was F-R-E-E. I just didn’t know how funny it would be to watch her put on an act of concern if she heard her brother in his room…

“Oh, I be right back. I need make sure E ok.” And then the two would giggle non-stop.

It took about 5 times for me to tell her to stay in bed before I realized her night-light might be the reason she didn’t really think it was time for bed. She was closer to it now than she had been before and she could TOUCH it. After a long talk, I decided to just lay with her for about 60 seconds. She was very calm. I walked out of the room. Silence. After 30 minutes I went back in. I opened the door. She popped right up “You gonna lay with me mommy?” *oye*

I sat next to her. She got real sad and asked where her crib was. “Where my crib at? I want my crib back.” Obviously it wasn’t an option, but my heart broke for her. She LIKED being a caged monkey. Wait. She liked being a caged monkey? How in the? What in the? *ding* She felt secure in there. I just took all of that away without even asking her. What kind of mom? Who in the?


“Your crib is in the basement honey.”

Her little eyes got teary “NO! Not the basement!" and in the tiniest, most innocent, most precious little voice, all she could say was... "i just want my crib back mommy."

Mommy guilt...

“Do you want your binky?”

{new mommy guilt}

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


there are a lot of things that inspire me. children, first and foremost, inspire me to do better in life. for them. i am blessed to have many children IN my life. with three of my own, 11 NOT of my own (but of my own!), and one on the way, i have a lot working to inspire me. everyday. every. single. day. can you believe how lucky we are to have such purity in our lives? almost as pure as puppies. sidenote: puppy breath is great, isn't it?

ethan paul. first lost tooth. definitely no puppy breath here.

i am a mother first in life. (motherly instincts are wonderous things, don't you think?) i really am blessed to be given these three awesome little peanuts to raise into awesome big peanuts. and i am just as blessed to be an auntie to 11 other peanuts i love wholeheartedly. TJ, Tyler, Mia, Teagan, Nick, Miya, Jack, Aidan, Kaia-boo, Gaby, and Addison. i can't wait for little Sammy-G to get here soon. i love these kids so much because i want to do better by them, for them, and because of them. isn't it amazing how they will be running the world some day? that our world depends on us, but also how we RAISE all these millions of peanuts? *whew* peanut raising is serious business.

emma. sophie. aidan {trouble in river city}

ethan. emma. kaia. {someone turned 1 that day!}

i always knew i wanted to have kids. it was all i knew and was sure i wanted for my future. everything else was 'extra.' i got lucky. really lucky. really REALLY lucky. it happened before we planned, but you know what? it was the right plan we never planned on. and having our first pea kicked off our plan to have more peas. because, don't you know, you always have to plan on how far a part to space your peas? *OYE* if we only knew! it really would've been ok to take our time. sure, chris is much older than i am, but certainly that was a lame excuse to pump out kids in a rapid fire type fashion (3 of them in 4 years). but i suppose i could've been like my crazy sister who pumped 3 kids out in 28 months. but that's good crazy. ;) but i thank God everyday for them. all of them. all the ones that are mine and the others that are "mine" -- because *shhhhh* they are still mine. :)

emma. sophie. me.

we all have rights in this country. and with rights come responsibility. i had a right to have children and so... i had them. because of my rights, i also have a responsibility to do right by them and provide my children with the best of what i can possibly provide for them because they are my number one priority in life. the law doesn't tell me that. my motherly instincts tell me that.

as much as being a mother is a right, it is also a privilege. i know that's nothing new to people. not a foreign concept. a TOTAL cliche. i know. but MAN! what an honor. wow. i am blessed. these kids were chosen FOR me. i was chosen FOR them. how neat is that?

Just call me queen pea.

happy day

this is emma.
she is four and a half.

it's not often i get to spend one on one time with my chillens. i don't really count scrubbing their lil bodies in the tub or their teeth at the sink as real quality time. so when i get an opportunity...a R-E-A-L opportunity, i take it.

fall festival.

emma paige. isn't she a doll?

man, if only we weren't strapped on time, it would've been picture perfect. as a middle child i KNOW what it's like to be forgotten. or i know what it feels like to seem forgotten. i'm trying so hard not to let that happen with my 4 year old. it doesn't help that she naturally was born with a middle child's personality, even though when she was born, she was obviously not the middle child. boy do i love her. and boy do we butt heads. do you know she is more like me than we'll ever fully realize? that scares me. because when two people are so alike in very strong and independent ways, it can be awful frightening at times. but i digress, because this is about our happy day. and it was happy.

we went with her friend noah. noah is awfully handsome. he just doesn't know it yet. he's a bit of a shy guy, of sorts.

noah. awfully cute, right?

whatever she wanted to do, she didn't have to ask for. if she wanted to play on the hay for the entire time, that was A-ok by me. if she didn't want to go to the haunted house, fine. more time to watch her laugh. if she wanted cotton candy, cookies, and candy corn...have at it. it was her day and BOY did she feel it. that made for happiness all around.

oh happy day. i love a happy ending.

my little mama

sophie loves to mimic her mama.
boy am i flattered.
before she can pick her brother up from the bus stop she has to have her 'puss' which also known to many of us as a 'purse.' but before she can leave with her puss she has to make sure it is jampacked to the gills. heaven forbid she leave out an old crayon. or a sock. she is her mother's daughter. and i love her for it.
couldn't you just eat her up?