Search This Blog

Sunday, February 28, 2010

suggestion box

i was lucky enough to spend two nights in a row with two of my bffs. 
{heaven?  is that you?}

last night they came over and we all had dinner (kids too)... my bff dara said, "i SO know where we should go for our next girls night..."

hold on to your panties folks...


you can only imagine my reaction to this redonkulous suggestion.

so my 7 year old was the only other one of my family member's up at 10pm and quickly said, "Oh, I know, I know, I know were you can go!"

cue us all thinking he was going to point out the Washington Monument or something to that effect...

"Lllllllllllllloooooser lllllllllland."


Thursday, February 25, 2010


double posting tonight... i know.  i'm awesome.

you know, being a mom is great, but when you live in a small house it just kinda isn't great.  i mean, not all the time.  i had this reemphasized to me tonight.  thank you Jesus, for your generosity.

i've had my tax paperwork put together for a month now.  a freaking month.  i had a couple of questions on some things and decided i would call the tax place before bringing in all the paperwork, only to find out i need extra items, which is one of the most annoying things that can happen during tax time.  so, i called them to find out.

i didn't just call.

i called from my bathroom.

because it is only there, in that 3'x6' space, that i can attempt to speak in peace and quiet.  did you catch that?  because i clearly used the word ATTEMPT.

my children found me.  like blood to a shark and moths to a flame, they found me.  and not only did they find me, they were excited to find me.  so much that they had to scream "WE FOUND YOUUUUUUUUU!"

like i was playing hide and seek.  i mean.  i guess i was.  halfway.  but i soooooo wasn't playing the latter half.

so with the accounting person on the phone i tried to be nice to my kids... "please go in the living room and wait for me to get off the phone.  and PLEASE BE QUIET!"

oh shucks.  did i just ask that out loud?  because you know, that only leads to more noise. 

so i shut my bedroom door.  and they returned.  to tell me they were being quiet.  and then again to let one dog in.  and then the other dog.  and then to tell me they still were being quiet... and each additional time i got less and less patient and i was talking through tighter and tighter clenched teeth... each...and every....time... to the point i had no choice but to go into every last detail to the nice lady about...
how small this house is and how when we bought it i just had my first child, but now i have three and the oldest is 7 and they like to RUN, RUN, i say, through this house and i wanted to be out of this house within five years but wouldn't you know it at five years my husband lost his job and *GASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP*... 

i'm sorry... did i just do that?  because i thought i had more control than that.  but THEY FOUND ME!  and they CONTINUED to find me and i'm so sorry for blubbering on and on and on about something that has NOTHING to do with you....and... taxes...

thank goodness that woman was so nice.  otherwise i probably would have to take my taxes elsewhere from sheer embarrassment and i really wasn't emotionally prepared to do that.  the only thing i'm emotionally prepared to do tonight is sleep.  

and i don't care if that doesn't make sense.

so how does this work

So like I said… blue lily is coming to town.  

And like I also said, I’m already trying to put together ensembles for that very special day.

But I fear I need help. 

And if I had my way, nienie would be helping dress my family that day.  

Love her look, love her glam, love her sense of what goes….. 

because my sense of what goes, rarely goes in person.   

But how does one get an international blogelebrity to pick out five outfits for my family?

How the heck do I make this happen?  Because I really need it to happen.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Blue Lily... you complete me.

for about two years now i have followed the blogs of two amazing women.  they are mothers, sisters, and women of God.

their names are nienie and cjane... and they don't know this, but i'm their long lost bff.  and they are the epitome of what i want to be as a mother.  through them i have inadvertently fallen in love with their photographer of choice...

pictures like this, this, this, and this, oh, and this... oh LAWD they make me fall in love with those faces a million times over.  

so imagine my surprise when i read "BLUE LILY TRAVELS"... i'm sorry, whaaaaaaaaaaaa? 

i haven't been that giddy since...
i can't even tell ya when!

heeeeeeeeeck yes i signed up.
heeeeeeeeeeeeck yes i'm already planning outfits.
heeeeeeeeeeeeeck yes i'm looking at the calendar...


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

oh how i miss his face.

dearest husband:

i miss your face.  
when will i get to see those dimples again?  
because it's been forever. 

i know you don't read my blog but by chance, should you decide to hit it up,  please work in a date night at some point, because like i said... i miss your face.  not only am i over second grade, i'm over your college too.  but keep on keepin' on because it's the best thing for our family.  'though i still miss those dimples like it's my j-o-b.

yours, forever and always,

a deep post about regrets. read on or check back tomorrow.

tonight i got everyone into bed early.  i am so beat.  so beat.

with mr. honey bunny working hard on his papers on campus i've been trying to wait up for him every night.  aye, to no avail. 

so picture me, looking rough.  beat.  so beat my kids tell me i look like i need a nap.  that beat.  so, kids in bed and off i go to wash my face and brush my teeth.  did i mention how beat i look?

and then i saw her.

in the mirror.

looking back at me for a split second of time. 
and it really struck me hard.  

 i know i don't look like her.  she isn't half-asian.  she is german.
to see her face in that mirror was absolutely striking because it was her.

Rewind fourteen long years ago.  i was 17 at the time.  i had, what i felt, were the best grand parents in the world.  we spent a couple of weeks with them every summer growing up.  they were funny and best of all... my grandma would tickle my arm for hours on end.  she loved me so much.  she loved all 13 of us so, so much.

but fourteen years ago their house caught on fire.  the house was built by the hands of my grandfather.  it was devastating.  there was much that was salvagable but there was a good bit that was destroyed.  including the souls of my grandparents.

they met in high school.  he was a few years her senior but it was love early on.  i believe they met through marching band and i think my grandmother's sister didn't like my grandfather.  but i digress... they fell in love and had five kids in six years.  he went off to the korean war and thankfully, he returned.  i'm not sure of the timeline but i know he signed up for the army without telling his parents by lying about his age.

 these are my grandparents {with my precious emma}:
mary evelyn enterline dietz 
(she liked to go by "Evie"... she absolutely hated the name "Mary")
willard dietz
he picks out her clothes every day.  isn't it cute how they match?
if ever there was a couple in love, they would be it.

but fourteen years ago, my relationship with my grandparents changed forever.  they didn't want to see family. they didn't want to come visit.  they were uncomfortable on the phone.  it hurt.

in the time since 1996 they did visit... once.  on a whim.  no notice and it was very quick.  but they came.  and i thought they'd be motivated to let go of the pain of the fire because they missed their family.  but not really the case.  we made our way to PA twice ourselves, but only to attend the funerals of my great-grandmother and great-grandfather.  

now fast forward to 2008.  that would be the next time i would see them.  my grandmother... a woman changed.   alzheimer's.  bad denture care.  a memory that didn't go back 15 minutes.

tonight i saw her face in that mirror.  it was painful.  suddenly i live in a world of regret.  because what that fire brought to my grandparents brought to me, bitterness and resentment.  years worth.  i thought i was fine with their choice of not seeing us.  i thought i was living without regrets but writing them off.  alas... i found out tonight, i was only fooling myself.  it's hard admitting failures, especially to yourself.  as hard-assed as i like to think i am, i'm just as hard-headed.  i've missed years with my grandparents because of my foolishness.  it is 2010 and alzheimer's doesn't go in reverse.  not having spoken to them since 2008, am i too late?  is there even a chance of her remembering me at this point?

and while i'm getting so deep with my unfortunate knack for admitting failures this evening... will this also prove true with my father at some point?  different situation, but ... what do i make of this?
 i miss her.

Monday, February 22, 2010

toot toot

tonight i was rolling solo.  mr. honey bunny was at school working on one of his mid-terms.  i was left with the chillens.  so dinner we shared, stories of our day were had... and homework was finished.  thank you jeebus.  that stuff is cr@p.  i mean, nothing personal, teachers of america, but this much homework in second grade?  i didn't dislike school until after 2nd grade.  but suddenly?  i'm so over this jank.

so instead of reading books to the kids tonight i figured i would try something new.  we would create a story together.  i thought the kids would really dig this. 

oh, and they did.

they laughed hysterically.  and couldn't stop.

but do you know why?  every sentence they spoke was about tooting/toots/toot bubbles/toot smells... for example:

Mommy: There once was a boy that lived in the jungle.
Sophie It was a naked jungle and it smelled like toots.
EmmaHe met an elephant who tooted.
EthanAnd then his breath smelled like toots.
Mommy: So he went deep into the jungle to find a waterfall.  Here he washed his mouth out to get rid of the stench.
Emma: But then he fell into the water and couldn't swim.  So he tooted so the air bubbles would push him to the top.

You catch my drift, i'm sure.
hysterics, i tell you.

so my big girl voice told them to stop and not talk about toots and all of their grossness.  but in my head... i was ... how do you put it?

 { i love them. }

Sunday, February 21, 2010

another four courser

it's so cliche these days.  this i know.
that movie changed my outlook on life... when it comes to cooking.

today i put together my menu, ventured out to retrieve my out-of-stock items, and prepped our dinner.  for two hours.  all the salad items are pre-cut.  the miso soup is simple to throw together.  the steaks and mushrooms are marinating, and dessert is baking at 350 degrees as we speak.

my apron has become a part of me!!

i never thought i would say that.  let alone live that.  it's beautiful and i love it.  bright.  cheery.  floral.  and ruffles.  dare i say i look awesome as i cook?  {because i do}

there are definitely days when i don't feel like picking up a single pot.  {but let's face it... do they ever go away?}  every singe day since watching that movie i think about making something.  about what would be tasty, succulent... bottom line, YUMMY.

there is not one single person in this house that will mock me for watching that movie and being effected by it.  because they, just like myself, LOVE FOOD.  and they prosper thrice weekly because of her


if you haven't seen this... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????
Because this woman...

... she was just adorable.
She made me not afraid to admit i love food.
She made me not afraid to lick my fingers.
She made me not afraid to try new things... make mistakes... use REAL butter...
...and admit that food makes me happy.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

school closed. work closed. snow, snow, snow.

where do i even start?

snowy days are not what i view as perfect days.  unless, we are kidless by a fire with lots of coffee, reading material, and bearskin rugs. 
alas, that is not what happened during snowmagedon 2010. 

we spent so much time together in our small quarters here.  i, snowed in from work, was also sick with a putrid cold.  i had forgotten how obnoxious they were.  i'm used to allergies so i figured the cold would be cake.  but how wrong was i?  so, so wrong.

three days in bed.  small portions of each day i made it to my feet to prepare food for myself.  i was extra picky and didn't have the heart to ask chris to serve me, just as he was forced to do with all the children.  on day three i felt extreme guilt.  guilt that i wasn't "fun" for my children.  guilt that i hadn't done more to take the weight off chris's shoulders.  guilt that i was sick.  and a slacker.  so i baked.  and cooked.  and made pies.  within the 5 days we were snowed in, three of which i was completely sick, i had somehow managed to make three home-cooked meals {goat cheese stuffed chicken breast, pot roast, and spaghetti (sauce from SCRATCH!)}... and also made those pretzel/hershey kiss/m&m thingamabobs... a batch of pumpkin bars with homemade icing and two chocolate pies.  and some random bruchetta.

needless to say, i'm a bit heavier after those 5 days of being home.  but it was kind of fun adding on those pounds.  i actually wanted to eat my own food.  fabulous!

before snowmagedon got really.... horrible.
although by the looks of Aidan jumping out of the picture...
he thought it was horrible.

here are the kids with Frosty.  i should say, Frosty II.
emma's face says a lot, doesn't it?
the other kids seemed to take pleasure in seeing him crash.

sophie laughed.  and then they all saw my face... 
reference next picture...

"put him back together - i don't think mom is happy!"

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

poor little pup

poor doggie.
poor, dirty toothed doggie.
poor, dirty toothed with a bad liver ... doggie.

today jiggah went back to the vet.
he fasted 12 hrs last night.
he had to have an empty stomach for the first test.
then they fed him.

does your dog eat in strange places?
because mine only seems to panic.

does your dog drink from a bowl, or, one of those water bottles suspended from cagey thingies?
because mine drinks out of a bowl.

my vet is apparently a horrible place for my dog.
he fasted last night.
he refused food 13 hours later.
he didn't know how to operate the water bottle.
little jiggah was a thirsty boy.

as soon as he walked in the door tonight, an entire 21 hours since his last drink and bit of food,
he drank.  and drank.  and drank.
we all watched thinking, "how the heck is he going to keep that water in his body to make it out the door? and did he seriously just drink that entire bowl of water?

oh lordy.

i found a small piece of steak and two small pills....
in a puddle of water.
in my room.
on my RUG.

on my rug.

no.  he didn't keep it in his body.
he showered our rug... with gratitude for saving him today.
that's my spin on it.