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Thursday, July 9, 2009

i'm positive it's been awhile

boy. it has been awhile. a long while. the kind of while where you don't even realize how time passes you by. the kind of while where you can barely keep your head above water without taking in a few unpleasant and non-refreshing gulps of water through your nose. once in awhile. or thrice in awhile.

life can change so quickly, isn't that your experience? in the blink of an eye things can suddenly be ok. or a wreck. or a puzzle. sometimes you can be on the straight and narrow with a boring life and then you go away for a girls' weekend only to return to an newly unemployed spouse and issues on the home front.

i am no different from millions of other people out there. i realize this. but i am ... me. and me is all i know how to react with. by. how.

i continue to learn through life, though i don't attend college. i continue to learn through life, though it's not through amazingly positive and uplifting experiences. if we don't learn from experiences that lack luster, we waste opportunities. isn't that your same experience?

i'm a fan of positivity. i'm not a fan of always being positive. sometimes you just need to be in a rut so that you can get out of it. if i could be positive about 100% of things in my life... i don't think i'd be called human. i'd be called... delusional.

isn't that your same experience?

i'd like to share some things with you...

first thing first.... we have broke the wild mare that i rode so hard to tame. my three year old is finally potty trained. but... that happened quite awhile ago. it's been glorious. this does not make me delusional. it does make me positively relieved.

next... my precious 5 year old lost her first tooth. but... that happened quite awhile ago. {i'm so behind in my written recording of the childhoods of my children. sue me.} she's getting ready to lose her second one. it makes me positively sad that she's losing teeth already ... just the other day she was calling fluffanutter sandwiches... F*ckamudders. yes. you heard that right.

my 6 year old successfully passed first grade. {my dear lord, does that mean i have a second grader? oh sweet heavens} i spent the last week of school in class with him helping his teacher and you know what? best week of my year. and you know what was even better? i quite possibly was the most popular first grader in that class. *absolute awesomeness*

and now i'm going to say it. my dad moved in. my dad moved in. my dad moved in. my dad... sorry. it's still sinking in. my life just ain't complete without drama. it's positively dramatic, my life. but it's going very well, all things considered. my children love him. i love him. my beau loves him. it's working. don't ask me how long this will last because i simply cannot even wager a guess. it causes me a headache to do so.

but you know what?

my plane didn't crash. i wasn't on the metro when the trains crashed. i was 5 minutes behind a horrible car accident that i wasn't a part of. i have all of my peas healthy and happy. and i have a supportive husband that adores me {in his own non-verbal, non-expressive, kind of way -- but it's his way}

i can be positive.
and i will try to be more often.

aren't you glad i'm back?