back in march one of my sisters sent me a link to an article on cnn's website.
it originated at parenting.com and really made me give myself a pat on the back. if there is one thing i have figured out over the last 7 1/2 years of parenting it's that mommy guilt is always there. while it's a torture-some quality, it also means you've got a conscious. from what i can tell from working in the same building as social services, we could do with more parents having mommy guilt.
i totally just judged.
i want to be the best mom. sometimes i have to remember that life isn't perfect and, though sometimes i think i'm superwoman and can do it all, i'm just some half-asian-full-time-academic-registrar-mom-of-three-busy-kids. i'm not superwoman. while i want to give them the world on a platter, my reality is not such that is possible. so instead, i need to focus on being the best mom that i possibly can be.
there is a difference between the two called "mommy guilt."
it is also sometimes referred to as "denial."
if you deal with mommy guilt on a daily basis like the rest of us, i strongly suggest you read the article. you're not alone. never forget that your identity is based on a myriad of different aspects of your life. while i love to say motherhood is all i live for, it's mommy guilt that has me say that first. isn't that what i'm supposed to say?
i'm a mother first. a wife second. and a whole LOTTA fun third.
somehow i do a lot of the first, very little of the second, and nil of the last. isn't that contradictory? how can i focus on being such a great mom if i'm not acting like a great wife and not really having a lot of fun as a woman?
anypoo, if you want to feel less mommy guilt and more "it's ok for 'me' time"... read the article. if i didn't think the blog police would fine me, i'd cut and paste the entire thing into here for you.
i think it's going to be my nightly reading material. just to reemphasize things every single day. kind of like waking up, standing in the mirror and saying, "HEY good lookin'! You are smart, beautiful, and damnit people like you."
i have fun.
mostly fun being a mom.
mostly fun being an aunt.
and that's great .... but ... i'm missing something.