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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

blog about my blog

ok, so i don't know why blogging feels so freeing to me. i mean, let's be honest, i have no audience, but at the same time, the entire WORLD is my audience. or could be my audience.

in college i had a journal. it was completely freeing. my journals are currently packed way down in the bottom of a box that is also full of college books, and i'm completely ok with that. after college was when blogging, social websites, and emails really took flight. man, that makes me feel really old saying that out loud. but because of those three things, typing took over. i have a hard time writing down a message without my hand feeling funny. how freakish is that? i know, i know. i'm pathetic. {but don't kid yourself because you know you're right there with me.}

i always chose to write in my journals rather than read a book. if i needed down time to get my mind straight and free it, i went right to my journal. my blog is my journal. granted, believe you me... the things i wrote in my journal would never have made it past the censors and onto my blog. i don't even know if there are censors, but if there were, i wouldn't get past them.
but i digress... i need this blog because of how it frees my mind sometimes. good, bad, whatever it is, i like to write down things. and i like to read them. because they are my stories. {does that make me wierd?}

and my hope? my hope is that one day my children will read stories about their mother, their mother's view, their mother's life, their mother's thoughts.... and that one day they can understand me better by reading how i felt when things happened. like, when i got to spend a day with my oldest daughter at her pre-school fall festival... how i felt the day i took away my two year old's crib... or when she got her pink potty... i don't want them to just hear the story from my lips 10 years from now, i want them to read it by my own hand right after it happened. because let's face it... 10 years from now i will probably be exactly like my mother was at my age... exaggerating and embelishing my stories a tiny bit. { i don't know. seems like it could happen.}

i know this blog is mostly a mommy blog. don't hold it against me. but I enjoy being a mom, even when I'm over it. {only a fellow mom can understand that logic.} in enjoying being a mom i want to share so much about my children, usually to anyone that wants to listen. so, i warn's coming. before all of these million Ethanisms, Emmaisms, and Sophieisms depart my momnesia-fied brain, i need to get this all out on paper. "paper." journal. "blog." same same.

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