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Thursday, October 30, 2008

transitions are great, right?

Oh the pain! It had to happen at some point. They all grow up and leave the crib at some point. I just thought I wouldn’t be affected by this life changing moment. It was hard. It represented something big. For me, just as much as for Sophie.

Sophie. 3 1/2 months old

Sophie. 27 1/2 months old

She didn’t know it was going to happen. I was home all day yesterday so Chris and I decided to go ahead and make the change. At this point it’s just a mattress on the floor. A mattress with her birdie sheets. Her Littlest Pet Shop blanket Her blue blankie. Her purple blankie. Her mini Elmo. Everything she needed.

Boy, did she love it. Her jaw hit the floor when she saw it. She just couldn’t believe her big brown eyes. She sat on it almost all night. She just laid back on the pillows. PILLOWS. Cribs don’t have pillows. She has PILLOWS! She must be a big girl now. It was like she was soaking in all of this responsibility now because she popped up at one point and said, “No binky now!” {Yes. Don’t judge me. My 2 ½ year old still uses a binky for naps and ni-night. We all do things to survive, and for me, binky = sleep. } She was so proud of herself. And for me, well, it was a lil bit tough. She played on that bed all night long. She read books to herself. Talked on her phone telling everyone she had a big girl bed. And joyously swam in her pillows.

At bedtime she immediately recognized she would not be getting a binky. And she was fine with that! She never uses a binky at daycare. She hasn’t for the last year and a half. But I digress…

I expected her to realize her new freedom. She was no longer a caged little monkey. She was F-R-E-E. I just didn’t know how funny it would be to watch her put on an act of concern if she heard her brother in his room…

“Oh, I be right back. I need make sure E ok.” And then the two would giggle non-stop.

It took about 5 times for me to tell her to stay in bed before I realized her night-light might be the reason she didn’t really think it was time for bed. She was closer to it now than she had been before and she could TOUCH it. After a long talk, I decided to just lay with her for about 60 seconds. She was very calm. I walked out of the room. Silence. After 30 minutes I went back in. I opened the door. She popped right up “You gonna lay with me mommy?” *oye*

I sat next to her. She got real sad and asked where her crib was. “Where my crib at? I want my crib back.” Obviously it wasn’t an option, but my heart broke for her. She LIKED being a caged monkey. Wait. She liked being a caged monkey? How in the? What in the? *ding* She felt secure in there. I just took all of that away without even asking her. What kind of mom? Who in the?


“Your crib is in the basement honey.”

Her little eyes got teary “NO! Not the basement!" and in the tiniest, most innocent, most precious little voice, all she could say was... "i just want my crib back mommy."

Mommy guilt...

“Do you want your binky?”

{new mommy guilt}

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