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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

potty pricelessness

i've birthed three children, two of which have already gone through potty training. the last of this adorable brood has yet to decide she is ready for big girl-dom. you see...she thinks she's a princess. she also thinks she's a baby. i guess that's what happens when her mommy continually picks her up, squeezes her cheeks, and with all sorts of sweet and sugary tones calls her my "babee, babee, babeeeeeeee!" so part of the problem with her is me. i know that. i'm saying it out loud.

i baby my baby.

{Note: you never fully understand what it's like to have your LAST child until you do it. then you know why the baby of the family is always "the baby"}

my baby is 2 1/2. well, 2 years and 8 1/2 months, so what's that, 2 3/4 yrs? regardless, i think it's too old for her to be peeing in the diaper. she knows when she has to go. she hates her wet diaper. she used to go all day long on the potty for the babysitter. for G's sake she even sits on the potty up until the very second she feels that wave of "oh my, here it comes" {followed by a scream, cry, clench, and jump off the potty}. the girl knows how to use the potty.

in a desperate clench of hope i purchased a beautiful pink potty for her. PINK. like pink as in, PRINCESS pink. the first 2 hours she was on and off that thing constantly. she was in l-o-v-e with her pink potty. i gave her big props for getting on and off of it frequently for the first 3 days. and then... well... it just got to be ridiculous. she would get OFF the potty to pee in her diaper. isn't this reversed training? {i once had a ridiculously not-so-smart beagle puppy who would tell me she had to go outside to pee, would go outside to pee, would stay outside to pee, would never pee, would go inside to pee} enough was enough! if she loved this potty so much CERTAINLY she would hate for me to give it away to someone else who would take it more seriously and treat the potty like it wanted to be treated. {with urine.}

i got to the point where i told her i was going to give it to the neighbor's son. yes, a BOY. wouldn't that SHOCK her? well, truth be told, it did. the first time. she got right back on the potty and pushed as hard as she could, but nothing. i still gave her big kudos for trying her best because she understood the threat.

the next day my 2 3/4 year old little girl got a little smarter. seriously, the very next day. not only was she not intimidated by my threat, she actually told me to "go ahead and give it to him because he probably would really like it. because it was pink." how did she knooooow? {fist striking the air!} how on earth did she learn my tricks? she knew i, too, was in love with this pink potty. you know, what, with me constantly going by the bathroom saying...

"Wow, that pink potty is HOT!
It looks so good when you sit on it.
And it matches our bathroom!
It is the best looking potty on the PLANET!

she knew i loved that potty {and truthfully, it did look good in the girly bathroom} and she used that against me. she worked me over. right. in front. of my. eyes.

the moral of this story? two year olds are brilliant and will make you look like a fool when given the opportunity. or, they are totally sponges at this stage and not only learn simple things like colors or shapes, but they also are REALLY good at picking up the tricks of the trade when it comes to manipulation. it's an art. consider my 2 year old Picasso. the Picasso of manipulation.

{because i'll be the first to admit ... she's still in a diaper}

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