bummer.

going to bed in an argument sucks.

total bummer.

and totally not my fault.

i declared why i felt i got the shit end of the stick

he declared how he interpreted my tone.

dude.  listen to me.

you asked me to speak louder and i did.

you inferred something out of my response that is not my problem.

why can't you just apologize for your misinterpretation of my question/intent that then lead us to this argument?

i am one to take the first step in apologizing.

i can admit when i'm wrong.

and it usually leads to him admitting wrong, too.

take note:

i am always the one to apologize first.

and now i realize because i'm totally Type-A, i am also totally automatically stuck with stepping up and saying sorry before we can move on each and every time.

which infers i am the wrongest one.

arg.

it's not worth staying mad.

so i can honestly say that i know this won't go on much longer.

but until i hit that point where i'll finally apologize...

i'd kinda like to see if he does it first.

am i testing him, you ask?

sure.

why the hell not?

ten years of togetherness.

i can test.

and...... it's sorta his turn.

it's not a competition.

there is no score.

but it would show a lot of mutual respect on his part if he would just step up.

i will make the stretch and say that my tone might have not been the best.

i will then admit that he didn't necessarily miscontrue it because his reality is his reality.

his perception is his perception.

i will take the heat on the tone.

but....

i was set-up.  like a foo'.

don't tell me you can't hear me over your football game and to speak up if you're just going to yell at me for speaking up.

feel like apologizing first and maybe not being so defensive?

that would be like christmas for me today.

it's raining and i sure could use some metaphoric sunshine.

*****

i don't usually hang my laundry out to dry like this...

i carefully screen what i put out there...

but somebody out there has to feel my pain!

i've stopped calling girlfriends to vent.

i'm too old to bring others into my drama like that.

which is why i bring you into my drama like this.

because i love you.