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Thursday, August 5, 2010

'splanation.

i have to tell you...

when i first created this blog, i almost made it completely private.  but then wonder set in.

  • would i get visitors?  
  • who would they be?  
  • where would they come from and how would they find me?

i have had no problem writing anything on here up until today.  i mean, i see you out there checking me out.  it's cool, you know?  mostly because i have no idea who you are besides an i.p. address and geographical location.  sometimes i see that some of you link over from my facebook.  {which tells me i'm friends with you and would totally be fine with you reading my jank.}  but today... it changed.

several hits were from google with the search term of my name.  my full name.  full as in maiden AND married.  from like, all over the country.  how did you know my full name?

i have to be honest.  it kind of freaks me out.  

not that i'm trying to be all incognito or anything, but like Single Infertile Female, sometimes i think maybe i would be better suited to not have my name out there... or my face... or the faces of my kids.  
it's such a pickle.  mainly because today took me by surprise.  googling me because you heard of me?  googling me because you're totally creeping?  i don't know.  it just felt kind of weird.  both good and bad weird.  uncertainly {is that a word?} weird.  funky.

*****

when people choose to actually "follow" your blog, there's somewhat of a record of who likes to read your work.  most of you that visit here don't follow me, and that's totally cool, but i have no idea who you are, what you're into, and what would bring you back for more.  and when someone is out there googling me, i figure it must be for a reason.  

weird to even talk about it.  but even weirder to see it on my screen today as it  was the first i'd seen such a thing.  and what's weirder about this is that i've never seen another blogger post about what goes on behind the scenes on these things.  i'd really like to know if any of you have had the same experience - where you're unsure if you should be ecstatic or slightly freaked out.  

but i've been told i'm a drama queen.  like once.  one time i was called a drama queen and a hypochondriac and you know, some other dramatic terminology.  

am i just being dramatic?

maybe it's the fact that i'm so tired.  the earth has been shaking every night this week thanks to chris, and i have had little to no sleep every night.  i'm just glad he goes to get a new c-pap mask tomorrow.  mmmmm, so sexy. 

2 comments:

  1. I think that sounds very creepy as well....I love to read your blog b/c I think you are an amazingly talented writer and everything you write is so R-E-A-L...you're not afraid to say the things that us mommas often think but are too afraid to spill, so for me, it's like...phew! I'm not alone! Also, you crack me up! xoxo

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  2. OMG it's you! It's like Christmas, I tell ya! Kind of like unwrapping a present. Welcome to my blog and please make yourself at home. Just never judge me. :)

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