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Thursday, March 11, 2010

flutter. flutter. flutter.

i miss some things about my old life.
that's not strange or ungrateful.
so don't even try to convince me of that.
i think it's completely normal to miss aspects of LBK.  life before kids.

you know how music can totally stop and make you think?  or make you feel a certain way?  sitting in the car on the way home tonight i got to missing those butterflies.  for some reason the song i was listening to made me feel those butterflies.

you know.  the butterflies.  the ones that float around your belly before your date gets to your house.  the ones that feed your body like an adrenaline rush?  i miss wondering when my date is going to show up at the door.  

{five minutes from now would be on time, so i'm just going to...... 
look through this magazine until then.}

and then you read but you don't remember a single word of what you read.  because ... you have butterflies. 

or the smell of his cologne?  how the smell of his cologne wafted towards you as you opened the door to welcome him ... and then hits you hard and triggers another adrenaline rush?

{oh you're late?  i hadn't noticed.}

i miss that amazing smell of his cologne.  unfortunately for me, i married a man that thinks a t-shirt with nothing on it is dressing up {because it's not nearly as awesome as his "Sprite Remix" one... God forbid your shirt not have holes in it, or sleeves for that matter.  or make you look like an adult}  so cologne?  that's about a twice a year deal.  but i clearly remember hugging him hello and worrying about my knees giving way.  he smelled so gooooooooood.

so so so goooooood.

the cologne he wore the first night we met is the same one that sits in our cabinet as we speak. i love{d} it, however, it is literally the same bottle of cologne that he used ten years ago.  only now, it smells like pure rubbing alcohol.  not so pleasant.  stings the nostrils a bit...


butterflies.  they are soooooo good for you and i miss them.  a lot.  enough that my body is looking for any opportunity to locate them again.  including trips home from work.  to my radio.
make no mistake, i know we are lucky.  we're coming up on ten years of  being together, yet it feels like we're still just as young as we were back then and i still like him more and more every year.  he's funny ... and he's working really hard at being the best SAHD that he can be, all while going to school so he can better our family's future.  so while butterflies don't really rate in the big scheme of things...

they are things from LBK that i will always miss.
and that's ok.
because i'm human.
it's my right.

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