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Monday, October 18, 2010


i like to live a life full of prideful moments.

while they aren't always perfect, these prideful moments help me live with no regrets.

it's a wonderful concept.

humor me by listening to this example. while i may not agree with my father's lifestyle, i still allow him to see my children weekly.  i can't rob my children of that.  i just make sure i'm not there.  i feel prideful that i don't let my argument with my father interfere with my kids' relationship with their grandfather.

while i am fearful because my husband is still without a job, i forge through the fear {and subsequent anger at the world} because we choose to focus on the positive.  the negative would just eat us alive.  my man is getting his degree and spending more time with our kids.  it's a beautiful thing.


i drove 300 miles in/around the area this weekend.  i saw a brother-in-law home from the war for R&R ... he was home to see a terminally ill father.   the emotions in all of this were only amplified by the fact we found out my sister-in-law and her amazing kids and hubby are PCSing to the mid-west this summer.  it was a touching visit for all of us.  especially for my father-in-law.

it was a weekend my father-in-law was overjoyed at being able to experience.  a well deserved happy moment for him, and a great sense of relief and distraction.  he was able to have one day with his four children and all but two grandchildren surround him.  that is something he never thought he was going to experience before his pancreatic cancer {inevitably} wins this horrible battle against him.  but he did... and it was beautiful.

my laundry isn't done, i have no groceries in this house, and my sheets haven't been changed, but i lived a prideful series of days recently.

i may wish i didn't work, i may wish i had a bigger house, i may wish i had more money.... but i do have a wonderful set of family and friends that i would never exchange for anything.

i am not always able to make lemonade from lemons, but this weekend showed me the importance of making it as often as possible.  life is too short.

i am erica hamako.
i am NOT dying of pancreatic cancer.
i am NOT stationed in a horrible war zone.
i am NOT moving to the mid-west and leaving all of my family behind on the east coast.

i am me.
i am grateful for who i am and what i have in this short lifetime of mine.

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