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Saturday, October 9, 2010

four score....

i don't usually make bets.
or gamble.
but i do bribe.

is that gambling?

i had no idea where my son got the trait when he was betting left and right that the Raiders would beat your {or your, or even YOUR team} during the season.

but it got old. 

he never struck pay dirt and everyone always seemed to give him slack on him coughing up his bet.

"Ethan, you owe me $10 because the COWBOYS WON!  Ten bucks means you have until you're 10 to pay up."

no sweat.  no deterrence from future bets.

the boy never stopped.

two weeks ago i {allegedly} bribed my son in order to motivate his tackling abilities on the field.


i {allegedly} told him that if he got one... SOLAMENTE UNO... tackle during his next game that i'd give him $5.

who the?  what the?  five bucks? 

the little rat did it and mama rat didn't even recall the bribe.  that's {allegedly} how much i must bribe these kids.  he came off the field and immediately started smack-talking him mom because she was a sucker and owed him five bucks.


so i paid up and vowed to never make that kind of foolish bribe again.  until tonight, when my son reminded me i owed him a pitcher of thai tea - made from scratch.

who the?  what the? made from scratch thai tea?

does anyone know what that means, in all actuality?

it means this... i have to run a pot of water and vinegar through my coffee pot to get out all the coffee/residue/jank.  i then have to run 3 full pots of plain water through the coffee pot just to get the vinegar out.  then i can brew 2 pots of thai tea, followed by a pot of vinegar/water and 3 more effing pots of plain water to get the thai tea out of the system.

do you know how long that takes?
only about 2 freaking hours.

but look at this face...

this is the face of a boy who came through with his end of his deal...
no F's this week.
fo' real.
not a one.

so as i wait for this last effing pot of water to run through the coffee maker at 9:50pm, i will sit and gaze upon the above picture of my boy... my F-less boy... and remember it is worth every pot of water i have to wait to travel through my coffee pot just to have an F-less week.

and of course...
to please his little face.

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