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Thursday, August 12, 2010


One of the things I like the most about some of my favorite bloggers {shout out to NieNie and cjane} is that they are consistent bloggers.  I mean, at least when they're not having a mental blog-block or major reconstructive surgery

This is my main problem.  I am inconsistent.  And I know that I am.  I am congitively aware of this fault of mine.  However, this fault mostly has to do with my resolution to put kids first.  Lately blogging feels more like "me" time than it did before.  I, selfishly, get a lot out of doing this thang.  And now, NOW, it has turned on me and makes me feel GUILTY for not spending this amount of time with my babes because I get a blog-high from writing.

Can you believe that?  Stinking blog guilt from my stinking mommy guilt.  It's unreal.  Will it ever go away?  *oye*  I can only hope.

I do feel I owe this blog a bit more dedication.  In the end it really is for my kids.  And if ever goes under and takes all my written recordings with it one day, just like I think I'll meltdown unlike any of my previous meltdowns before. And believe you me, those were quite the sight to see. These are two things that weigh on me every day.  Isn't that ridiculous?  Pictures and written entries... my history... in a nutshell.  But I digresssssssss...   I really owe it to my blog to be a little more dedicated.  Like  I owe my old, sickly dog the best last years of his life that I can provide for him. 

Not that my blog is sickly.

But it is needy.

And rightfully so.  Because it's all for my kids. 

They don't know me now as the thirty-something adult that I am today.  They simply know me as their mom.  One day when they are all grown up, I hope they read these entries and can relate to me a little bet better.  Adult to adult.  Thirty-something to thirty-something.  I think that would be pretty cool to provide them with that kind of opportunity. 

Hopefully I can turn this blog guilt over to just mommy guilt about NOT blogging enough for my kids. 

Consistency and routine make everything easier.  Just like raising babies, I'm raising a blog.  For my kids.

{and partly for me too.  shhhhh.}

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