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Tuesday, July 20, 2010


i am not all about irony these days.
i can't really look at my life and think, "hmph, well that's ironic!"
because i'm usually thinking, "hmph, well this really sucks."

i went grocery shopping this weekend.  i was kid-less.  i used the excuse that i was sick so i didn't have to take kids.  it makes sense when you realize my stomach was a volcano and i didn't want to tote two yappy kids into a public restroom stall with me.  at walmart.

so kid-less.  yeah, that's right.  jealous?
well not so much when you realize i went to WALMART.
but it did feel awfully nice.

but back to irony because i need to vent.

just hear me out.

twenty-two months ago my hubster became a stay-at-home dad.  he was living my dream.  well, my dream during the school year.  never during the summer.  initially he used to be all good about making dinner so i didn't have to worry about it when i would get home from work.  it was schweet.

SIDENOTE:  back when he was working, he was a commuter.  two hours each way.  TWO.   he left the house each day at 6:30am.  which meant, i had to get the kids up, fed, ready and dropped off before going to work.  then he would get home at 7pm every night, which meant, i also had kiddie pick-up duty (at one point, all three were in different locations every single day --- that's right... three nightly stops.)  it also meant i had dinner duty.  it sucked.  the chaotic pick-up schedule made me dread mealtime.  they wanted food immediately.  i wanted to pee alone.  nobody won. but fast forward to unemployment and dinner was graciously provided for me almost every night during the week.  it changed my life immensely.  and it was usually made from scratch!  such a bonus.

then hubster became a student and we eventually found ourselves high-fiving in my parking lot at work as we swapped cars and lives for a bit after i worked an early shift to enable his wacked-out class schedule.  and i was back to dinner duty.  and swim lessons.  and weekly nightly playdates.  and chaos.

ebb and flow.  ebb and flow.

so ... walmart.  i spent a bajillion dollars there this weekend.  we needed it.  i mean.... we came back from the beach the day before and really had nothing in the house.  i purchased a bajillion dollars worth of food and you know what?  i have nothing to make.  because you know why?  my life is ironic.  my hubster is home during the day in between his summer school classes and {because he's never here at dinner time} doesn't even think about thawing any meat.  this is a problem because my kids are pure carnivores.  that's right.  you heard me.  life would be over if they didn't have meat with their meal.  i know they are soooooooooooo not hip and food-trendy, but i'm ok with it.  ok until we come to dinner time with no unfrozen meat, after a swim lesson {so EVERYONE is extra hungry}, with kids screaming left and right.  {it is times like this where i am truly thankful i only have two ears.  i really couldn't bare to listen to much more screaming via a third or fourth ear.}

so, BLUF {bottom line up front} the irony... 
with a bajillion dollars of walmart food sitting in this house...

i ordered out tonight.


for those of you that are english majors and would like to beg to differ with my example of "irony" tonight, please don't.  i mean, i'm still boggled over my final exam in 12th grade english that went like this...

"In Alanis Morrisette's song "Isn't It Ironic" there is only one statement that is actually ironic.  Which is it?"

chew on that.

and for those of you that think, "gee erica, why don't you just pull out meat from the freezer in the morning?"... um, yeah.... is one simple act of pulling out meat to make my life a little easier too much to ask my hubster to do every day?  when it's the only thing i ask for???????????

meat.  it's all about me.



  1. Oh my WORD!!!!! I ALWAYS forget to take meat out of the fridge...I just did that today. ARGH!!! I know what you mean! well.....just think this way...your hubs will go back to school....get a masters....or whatever, a job at a huge company .....or school....and make his millions....OR after ALL that schooling, you'll win the lottery and his degree will be useless cuz you'll both quit your jobs and move somewhere SUPER sunny or asian. Either way...your going to have a baJILLION the meat on the counter as'll have people to make fresh meat for you someday. Just put it all in perspective E.

  2. oh i did, and my perspective is that his ass could've taken some meat out of the freezer! bwahahaha.