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Saturday, January 24, 2009

it does not define me

"Being happy right now doesn't mean everything is perfect.
It means you choose to look beyond the imperfections."

I posted that quote on my facebook page. Yes, I have a facebook page. Yes, I love my facebook page. Yes, I'm addicted to my facebook page.

Someone asked me how it was humanly possible to look beyond imperfections.

I can't say I don't see my own imperfections or anyone else's for that matter. I can say, however, that I don't let those imperfections define me. THAT is how I can be happy. Once you let those imperfections define you, you have lost the battle of happiness.

I am not perfect. I am not a knowlegable genious. I am not the strongest person alive. I am not completely unselfish. I am not, not, not perfect.

Nobody is perfect.
{even though people think they are, it's just not possible}

I've had such a difficult week this week. Thankfully it has nothing to do with my awesome little family. I've had to deal with significant personnel issues at work this week, but that's not really here nor there. Well, actually it kind of is. You see, some of these issues would never have happened if people chose to live by the aforementioned quote in this post. When you choose to focus on the little imperfections, they tend to become big imperfections and that then changes your perception of reality. Which can be dangerous. And time-wasting. And lead to needless, and seemingly endless hostility and dramatics.

But even understanding and living by the aforementioned quote in this post does not make you perfect. Understanding the meaning and intent of that quote does NOT mean you are perfect. But if you live by it, you try to live a more perfect life, and isn't that what it's about? I'm good with life not being perfect. I mean, look at last year... I've learned to live with an imperfect life, but it doesn't define us. How we rebound and move forward will define our history. My little family's history. And I owe my children the best history they can tell their own children about one day.

This post makes me sad because I am reliving a lot of this past work week. It was tough. It was sad. It was sad. And I can't believe the way things all unfolded. But I have done the best to deal with it in a professional manner, which unfortunately was viewed as an ice-cold manner, but you know what? It was a lose-lose situation. No matter what, I was going to be the scapegoat. And no matter what, I was going to be served a nice heaping serving of attitude. So I did it in the most non-confrontational way I could. Because this doesn't define me. In my career this will not define me. And in my history, I will remember how I handled things and be proud of such. Because this will be one of those imperfections that I look beyond so I can be happy. I want to be happy. Some people think they want to be happy, but then... does that get you attention? I don't want attention. {anyone remember why I did NOT have a wedding?!}

I just want happiness.

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