scheming

my plan is working... my evil plan is working, bwaHAHAHAHHA...

{... only it's not so evil, but it really is a plan.}

I played hookie from work last friday. Don't worry. it was completely legal. {i let the boss know in advance.} I am trying my darndest to get my kids back on my side, as in... think I'm funny, entertaining, and a pleasure to be around. That's hard to do when you haven't been funny, entertaining, or a pleasure to be around for the past 4 months. Let's not forget, they are kids and... well... the last four months are the closest memories they've got, so if I was a grump at any point over those last four months, apparently I've been a grump my entire life.

The ever-so-flexible daddy-o-my-babies (and also conveniently enough, my hubby) and I took them down to CMoR (Children's Museum of Richmond). We took them there a couple of years ago, but let's face it... that was when the oldest was 4, the middle one was 3, and oh, the last one was a nice ripe year old. Not as fun. More like frustrating. But this year? This year rocked. I was much more mellow and the kids were much more manageable... they actually knew how to listen and follow rules.

see. they listened when i said...
"stand in the middle and reach for the sky!"

and then they listened when i said...
"sit together and say cheese. or pickles. or just smile if you love me."

see. he listened when i asked...
"could you please put on this dress-up car-mechanic-shirt
even though you're 6 1/2 and i know it's
against every bone in your body to do so?"

the girls stayed in one spot just liked I asked.
even when big kids tried pushing her out from behind the wheel...
sophie stayed in her spot.
{probably just because she wanted to be the driver}

even though they wanted to go back inside, these two monkies
graciously smiled for the camera.
such a symbiotic relationshiop.

and even though i was ready to go and the kids didn't want any more pictures...
i continued to play in the jungle and they patronized me with
one. more. group. picture.

i think they learn having a great day goes both ways.

three cheers for an awesome day.
even the butterflies seemed extra fluttery...
just. for. us.

all i know is ...
i want to be better.
for me.
for my kids.
so maybe i'll play hookie a little more often.

Only child

Today I only had an only child. Having one kid is like having no kids when you always have three kids. I kid you not.

It was only for 2 and a half hours. But I like my two year old. She's really funny and uber-cute.

Grocery Shopping.

Neither Sophie nor myself understood why people dressed in costumes would swarm around children that obviously do not want to be swarmed around. Some guy dressed up as the Cheetohs cat would not leave us alone. It was borderline torture. And when I say "wouldn't leave us alone" I mean, when we said "NO we don't want your free chips!" he proceeded to tell us we were crazy because they were F-R-E-E.

He kind of had a point. Have any of you seen the state of our economy?

We came home from the grocery store and had lunch together. Have I mentioned how cute my two year old is? Edible. Upon cleaning up the dishes my two year old swoops into the kitchen to ask me...

"So what else fun can we do todaaaaaaaay, momMAAAAY? Let's laugh some more."

I can't make this jank up. She likes me! Sometimes when you have a two year old that, well, acts like a two year old, you sometimes wonder if they like you at all...and vice versa. Because let's face it, two year olds stink. {I say that in the most loving, exaggerated, and literal sense of that word.}

So..........................we baked a cake.

I let her eat the batter. I never let my kids eat the batter. But she's my last baby and was my only child today. I was eating her up watching her eat up the batter. I could do this everyday.

But then....................I could do this every day for each of my three pups.
They are all so freaking yummy.

new post? 'tis true.

has it really been almost 2 months since my last post? i sincerely apologize to my audience. all two of you. i hate thinking i am cause of disappointment in your lives.

so much has happened over these last two months, most of which is completely not worth mentioning. growing frustration with work has taken over my entire body and thus, my April resolution is to change that madness. i can't continue to let my heartache and frustration of my professional life consume my every moment at home. it will do damage beyond repair and i don't want to repeat the life my mother has already lived. i am doing it differently. thus, i resolve to change how i treat, view, and allow people to effect me. and thus my life.

it's hard making a change this ginormous. i didn't know if i'd ever have the energy, and to be honest, i don't really have any, but i knew if i continued the path i was on, i would continue to change my relationship with my kids and family... my life.

i, so strongly, realize i am defined by what i choose to define me. but living that? that's tough. it's tough because i wish it was different. i wish friendships weren't so meaningless in a professional environment. so expendable. i didn't have a choice. it was done outside of my lane. things were done the way they were for the betterment of one individual's inability to take personal responsibility for things. "just rip the band-aid off." because i wasn't just a coworker, but also a friend, i knew it wasn't the right way, but i had no say in the matter. my opinion didn't matter. my friendship didn't matter. it was going to be whatever they told me it was going to be.

life is what you make of it. goodness, i know this. really. people only can make me upset if i let them. i heard you. it doesn't make this any easier. it just doesn't.

but i digress, because i am changing. i am changing my life, my time, my memories because i need to. these last 2 months of memories have not been worth the pain of going through them. these last 2 months of memories are such a waste of my life. i am not making the most of my hand. i am taking the worst and letting that run my life. it all feels so out of control, but it doesn't have to be and i vow to change this. not for me. for my kids.

i love life.
i remember loving life.
i miss loving life.
i can love life again.

this post is completely not entertaining for you. i apologize. but at least my vow is written down in stone somewhere. "stone."

{i'm much more apt to follow through with things when i publicly hold myself accountable.}